Five silly arguments against critics

With ‘DJ’ allegedly shaking up all non-‘Baahubali’ records, critics who trashed the movie have become the butt of ridicule.  It’s like what makes money should never be criticized!  
 
Here we give a point-by-point rebuttal of what is commonly being held against critics by silly industry personalities.  
 
1)  “Critics are destroying the industry”
 
Distributors have disappeared by dime a dozen in the Telugu States over the years.  They blame it on unfair deals that producers sign with them.  But hey, critics are destroying the industry!
 
2)  “Critics are the reason producers are vanishing”
 
Not lack of stories, but critics are the culprits.  Not insane remuneration that greedy heroes and directors charge, but critics are the culprits.  Okay?
 
3)  “Write reviews, but do it only after 7 days”
 
Cool!  By the same argument, will the producers stop advertising about their mediocre films during the said period?   Will they refrain from dishonestly saying that their film is a family entertainer when their second-rate film is full of violence, vulgar lyrics and indirect references to masturbation (remember that selfie dialogue in ‘DJ’)?  Will they restrain from claiming to have the potential to change society while concealing from the audience the fact that their heroine is lustily clad in the skimpiest bikini?
 
4)  “Will these critics write such negative reviews if their dad is the producer?”
 
Will you fool the audience with stupid ads if you are the one who is going to lose hard-earned Rs. 500 when a whole family goes to watch a movie blindly trusting the makers’ nonsensical claims?
 
5)  “If a ‘Shankarabharanam’ were to hit the screens today, the critics will ensure that the film will become a flop by afternoon”
 
If a ‘Shankarabharanam’ were to release today, it will be a flop by afternoon.  Sure.  It’s because we are busy watching masterpieces like ‘DJ’.

– By Vishwanath V